3 Tips to Spring Clean Your Dating Life
When you think of romance, do you hear the sweet sound of love buds blooming in the air or are you too distracted by the resounding thud of your withering love life? When stuck in a routine of long work hours and no time for friends, it’s easy to give up on a dating life and focus on the things missing or going wrong in your romantic endeavors. But instead of taking that route, you can take a few moments to reevaluate the direction you’re headed and dust off those first-date jitters and ditch the old ideas you’ve been holding on to when it comes to relationships. If Mother Nature is stepping into a fresh new state of being, why can’t you? Here are three ways you can spring clean your dating life.
Toss out the exes
Do you know the fundamentals of regular cleaning vs. spring cleaning? Spring cleaning is something you look forward to and feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders when it’s complete because it’s a state of new. If you’re still holding on to an ex or exes that are not serving a true purpose in your life, then they could be the key to why you’re stuck in “yield” instead of “go.” Wrap your head around the idea that you are moving forward, not backward, and leave the exes behind. An ex represents the old you and a failed relationship — you’d never continue buying a cleaning product that wasn’t effective right? My advice is to unfriend, unfollow, and delete those exes that are keeping you from growing, whether it’s from your iPhone contact list or Facebook. Stop giving your time and energy to them when you could be investing those efforts in someone new. You’re a smart cookie who has learned from the past and now you’re ready to embrace a new beginning.
Make room for romance
Many of us only give lip service when it comes to being shot by cupid’s arrow, but what steps are you actually taking to get hit? Remember, it’s a fresh start so take new selfies and update your online dating profile. Commit to putting yourself out there and sticking with it for at least three months, if not longer. You can always take a break soon after if nothing pans out and binge-watch Prison Break on Netflix. If nothing changes, nothing changes, and we definitely want romance to enter our lives, so committing to a time frame will help keep you on track. You can worry about maintaining a healthy relationship at another time, but for now, we are in date-mode. Keep in mind, you set goals and time frames for everything else and you’re dating life should be no different. Identify three new activities/food/things you want to try and make that the purpose of your next three dates. This will take the pressure off you and allow you to enjoy the new restaurant you want to visit or the new exhibit on cavemen at the museum. If there are sparks on the date–it’s a win win!
Air out those expectations
If you’ve done tip number 2, then you’re already off to a wonderful start, but just in case the expectation monster rears its ugly head, whack it in the face…quickly. The biggest mistake is expecting perfection of you or your date. Instead, flip the table and focus on fun. You have your next three date ideas, just make sure you turn up the dial on the fun factor. When we have expectations, it’s not the expectation that dooms us, it’s the high expectations that work a number on our ego. Setting the bar too high usually comes from one party pushing the responsibility of “having fun, great conversation, or being a billionaire” onto the other party. How fair is that? Learn to date the person, not the expectation. Identify any first date patterns that keep you in constant sabotage-mode.
All this may seem overwhelming, but don’t worry about doing all these at once. It’s a self-individualized path and you don’t have anyone to compare yourself to or keep up with. Just like a clutter drawer, tackle the small items first, but keep your eye on the big stuff knowing you’ll get to it when the timing is right. Spring is the perfect time (especially if you’re keeping track on your Citizen’s Watch) to get rid of exes that have been hindering your progress, get out of any relationships that are draining your energy, and get back to the you who can enjoy dating again. It’s time to plant new romance ideas and watch them bloom, and the only thuds you hear should be the sound of your dating inbox crashing from all the new date requests.